Just thoughts.....

I often wonder
1- who reads my blog
2- is my blog for the reader or for me

Then I got to thinking about the blogs I read....undoubtedly when there is a new post I get excited to read it...thinking it was written for me  or the reader in general.  But I know that it is also written because the writer needs to write, share thoughts, sometimes vent, praise, etc.  As I write this, I am doing it for me, but also thinking of you the reader & hoping that my words can fill a little spot, make you laugh, cry, or shout!  So it can kinda run in a circle all the way around!

But, I really started to think that it is the same way with lots of things in life.  For instance, at bedtime, Lincoln always wants to snuggle with Mama....I would rather snuggle when he comes sweetly into my room in the morning & wakes me up.  So tonight, while laying in bed snuggling Lincoln, I was thinking about the whole thing. Thinking the whole time that I wanted to go clean up (what was I thinking), come down to my computer check facebook, maybe work on pictures etc., and thinking about his sweet boy who wanted to snuggle!  After snuggling a few moments I told him "goodnight, I love you!" he wanted to "snuggle more." So, I gave in (rarely happens- at bedtime anyway) and stayed to snuggle, thinking about this sweet boy who needed his Mama & that this was all for him...I was fulfilling my mommy job & snuggling. At that moment, he reached his tiny little arms around my neck...one on each side & pulled me in tight.  So close that his chubby little cheek was pressed tightly into my eye socket, so soft & squishy cute!! Then, I felt his eyelashes (they can make any girl jealous), batting up & down on my forehead. OH MELT MY HEART!!!  Suddenly, these snuggles are not for him but for me!  I LOVE BEING HIS MOMMY!!!! I AM SO SPOILED!!

Now, I'm not saying it always happens like tonight, but all I know is that when I was willing to give him a little more of me that he needed....I was the one more immensely blessed than I could have thought!

I want to be this way more in my life.  When I think I have nothing left to give, I want to give anyway. Not because of the blessing that could come, well kinda because of the possible blessing, but more because I want to give more.  I like the blessings, but the feeling of knowing how much I enjoyed that sweet moment with my little boy, how much more it meant to him. Also, I didn't leave him crying in his room not wanting to go to bed yet!